Lost is the greatest show of all time. I used to be able to watch television for hours and hours and hours on end, but recently I have become bored with watching the same show for like six hours at a time. Tired of watching lost earlier today, my buddy Neil and I went to go see DRAG ME TO HELL. I must say that I loved the shit out of this movie. Sam Raimi with a budget is a nice and fun experience.
As much as I enjoy watching LOST, I just can not watch a whole lot of it at once… My simple brain just stops working at some point.
Again I have found faith in a woman. She says that she wants to be a part of something bigger. She says that she has goals. I say that that is unbelievably rare. She is 27 and full of life, but I still see tribulation in her eyes. But the pride and hope she had in her expressions when telling me about her aspirations and determinations was the most refreshing thing that I have seen and heard in a very long time.
At the start of our conversation I was giving her a hard time. And now I kind of regret that, because as our talk went on I realized that she whole heartedly wants to make a difference not only in her self but with the world as well. She made me proud to be her friend last night.
She says that she wants to be a part of something bigger. My eyes got bigger. The whole time that she was telling me this, I am deep in concentration, listening with all of my power. And then she says that she wants a family, and that she wants to have a fall back plan. She says that these are very important to her.
I had no idea that she was this amazing. I used to say that I loved her, before I really knew her. Last night I knew that was talking with a friend and I was comfortable around her. And all I know now is that I wanted to grab her and tell her that together we could accomplish her goals. Together we could make her dreams come true. But she does not see me as a suitable life mate, and I have to remember that and keep it real. And keep it very real.
I’m not saying that I am all giddy in love with her still. But I saw her in a beautiful light last night. She and I are going to be great friends for a very long time. I will never lie and say that I don’t ever want more from her, but also I can handle and respect her thoughts on the subject. She is amazing. And I know is that she and I together would be unstoppable, but I am not sure if that is what is in the cards for either of us. Not only because I know that I can help her achieve her goals, but because I would be a great assistance in any kind of misfortune that she may encounter. It would be my goal to never make her cry, or even let her feel the need to cry.
You think that I don’t know how fucking sappy I sound… it makes me sick sometimes. But seriously I will help her any way that I can. I will be as good a friend to her as I possibly can. I will not hate or shun any man that she brings around… I will always give her a hard time out of love and respect… and I will never over step my boundaries. Even though I know that she is totally into me. And I can see it in her eyes how much she wants me too. DELUSIONS!!! Or REALITY!!!???!!! Who knows???
This sort of confusion and lapse of reason is my bane. The destruction of my world depends on my own sanity level. Don’t think that I don’t know this, I desire it.
My homeboy says that I need to go back to the gym… she says that to me as well. Damn those who actually care. They make your conscience much, much louder. And it is twice as annoying… when you know that they’re right. One day she or someone equally as amazing will be mine. I would sometimes like it to be her. But the earth and the universe are going to let me in on their plan one day. If they don’t force her and me together, someone just as equal would be an amazing gift.
I trust in the universe. I love the universe. We are one. Nature is my guide to the Earth. The Earth is my guide to the Universe. The Universe is my path to immortality and infinite understanding… My ultimate insight into life and knowledge is my brain, and I believe that my brain is one with cosmic energies. Even after death, we will prosper. My mind is my weapon and shield, and I will use it for powers of calming light. Never will I use it for evil. And with the right woman at my side, it is plus 100 armor and plus 1000 confidence. The universe will guide me. No matter how much of a dork I could ever hope to be. Good night world… lets become one.
